Is it Friday yet???

So, all day today I kept thinking to myself "is it friday YET?" and within seconds...okay, like 30 seconds for me, I realize 1) ha. its like Wednesday...wait (time for thought, count, guess?? No, no it's Thursday. and 2) Why do I care? I have no idea why I kept asking myself this today. I mean, I seriously think I actually manage to be in bed earlier on the weekends. Unless, we go to church on Saturday night. Which yes, that is my big "night-out" for the weekend. It starts at 7, so it's a late night for the girls too. Shannon and I have managed to rent like 2 movies in the last couple weeks and we have to turn it off half-way through because we are sooo tired. I really don't care that I don't have an exciting night life or crazy weekends anymore...but sometimes I wish I had the energy to even hang out with my BFF past 11 or manage to complete things after the girls go to bed. I am DONE at like 8 FOR SURE!

I am already stressing about tomorrow. I have yet again managed to schedule an appointment that is not going to be super convenient during the day. I have to go to SLO for an infusion that will at least be 2 hours for the medicine to run through and then all the prep-time the nurse needs with the IVs and paperwork...and drive time. Not only was Shannon suppose to be helping with a funeral tomorrow but pretty much everyday she has off, she is ON for the little ladies. I don't think I can ever thank her enough. And Aunt Carrie who has the girls a couple times a week and they DESTROY her house! But the girls love all this time they spend away from Mama. They get "special" attention. They are always so happy when I come home which makes me feel good because they wave me goodbye with huge grins because they know they are in for some fun when I leave! Which is a blessing, I know. They are comfortable and happy with their surroundings...but I think most moms still think "Do they miss me at all!???" Ok, that was besides the point of this paragraph...(I believe I mentioned that I am like the ULTIMATE random thinker/lost thoughts/huh???) I am (here goes another list!) dreading my infusion for the following reasons...#1 I have an overwhelming feeling that it is going to wipe me OUT (usually makes me feel like I was hit by a small clown car, not soo bad I guess, but complete crap! #2 I have allll these things I want to do tomorrow and when I sit in a car or lets say an Infusion chair strapped to an IV for 2 hours, I think about all the stuff I need to do...I honestly, no joke, worry myself into exhaustion. #3 I get super sleepy sitting in that dang chair eventhough they aren't too comfy and I hate naps...it crashes the whole day. I got over trying to rest when the girls did because Madisyn is a great napper. 2 hours! Whitney not so much and I could lock her in a cage and she'd still manage to get out and light the house on fire...okay, okay I exaggerate on the reality but that is not how my brain works. I know things are crazy but I would rather double check the locks on the doors and have one eye open on them to guarantee they are sleeping. By the time you factor in my 45 mins to fall asleep. Forget it! I'll just stay up. Man, what was this paragraph about...Oh yes, why I'm dreading tomorrow...and I am super excited to hopefully be feeling better from the meds. I am not completely a complainer...ha, right! But this is how I operate...All you millions of followers out there! ask one of my close friends...one little appointment...all of these worries. I have got to give it to God. I KNOW! I just got mad at myself. I worried alot today. Ran around being stressed. I packed a bag with my devotional and bible and didn't read it. Ugh. this all just came to me right this moment. Oh Man! I know that would have helped...and I left it all in a bag in my car...which also is on my mental "to-do list." I should write it down, the to-do lidt so I can sleep. And walk my bum out to the car to get my things. I have got to clean out my car!!!!

You want to see my totally awesome to-do list...(if it has a star then Shan: ask me about in the am, possibly not necessary to put all on the world-wide web...don't know if I'll have any stars...ha. probably ;) yay! spelled it right, right?)

1. check out paperwork in car
2. put away the 3 baskets of "get to it laters"
3. Whit's Cubbie verse
4. clean bathroom
5. wash car, clean out car
6. newspaper interview
7. clean out toys
8. begin first draft of letter to Curtis
9. make a calender asap! next week busy again (love spring break!)
10. FAFSA (oh thought, shan-laptop to infusion...start FAFSA, text on questions?)
11. make all my phone calls-attn. list...haha
12. contact prescription-fax
13. return shoes
14. call Dad. miss him.
15. double check with MJ about work for Friday (ugh, thats going to be rough straight from infusion...)
16. call Britt. miss her too. lots.
17. exfoliate (ha. i need a new scrubber thing shan. seriously help me remember, it took me 3 days to put the NEW soap in the bathroom...don't worry I had backup.)
18. always laundry. but not until Saturday ;)
19. take Kavi-Kavi on a walk...too tired tonight. but he loves me and likes to spend time with me!
20. oh crum! say happy belated anniversary to my dad. talked to my mom...27 years! yes, shannon, the dates look funny huh? 6 months later I WAS born...the stork was going on an early vacation...dropped me off ahead of schedule...thats why I am so odd ;) Not quite finished...

Well, that is all I can remember for now. I bet if I look at the 3 already started list I would find a couple more things to add...Oh! Call Cousin Sara and her new baby!!

So, basically I am nervous about tomorrow. I know it will make me feel better in the long run (hopefully short jog. haha. im lame!) and I have no idea why I am working myslef up to assume I am going to be stressed during the infusion...no joke, that just hit me. The realization that I am totally in the middle of a self-fulfilling prophecy...man oh man, I have to stop that. Ok, Im trying...all my might now. I need to take it to the cross...No, "NO" necessary there...PLEASE REFRAIN or I will have to cast the rebellion out of you! opps. Inside joke and I am not even sure if she will read this. I mean all the traffic to this blog may get so heavy that some won't be able to look at it...oh no! ugh. well, all this lame, super lame but fabulous humor is totally a sign that I need to go to bed. Odd, I get a message that I need to go to sleep from that but not about too much else...selective Melissa. Maybe I should change the title of this blog.

PS...got a sad message from another buddy, well my only buddy ;) that suffers from UC and seems to have the same attitude towards it as me. I get a decent day or two and know she feels horrible. Ugh. take a break UC! we have lives! and things to do! oh wait, you have no concern for our schedules, physical and mental health or our relationships...oh, why thank you...aren't you a treat?! NOT! SYKE! YOU ARE....SOOO NOT NICE! 9 yea, I gave it to that auto-immune disease...) pssshhh. I just asked for a flare-up didn't I? ha.